Overwhelm
How many of you feel overwhelmed on a regular basis? I hear thoughts like this from my clients
I have too much to do.
There is too much going on.
I should be able to get it all done.
It always falls on my shoulders.
Can you relate to any of these thoughts? These thoughts are an indicator that you are probably feeling overwhelmed.
Overwhelm is an emotion that can feel out of control. You tend to spiral in overwhelm without seeing a way out.
My Confirmation Saint is St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. I didn’t know at the time what a great role model she would be for my life. I was first introduced to St. Elizabeth by my great Aunt Mary who was in her religious order, the sisters of charity. St. Elizabeth was canonized in 1975 when my aunt was living in Maryland. Aunt Mary was always sending me prayer cards, relics and books about St. Elizabeth.
Over the years, as I have learned more about St. Elizabeth I found I could relate to her in so many ways.
She was a wife.
She was a mom with several children.
She was a Catholic school teacher.
She worked in church ministry.
She shared her love of Christ with everyone she encountered.
I like to say she is the saint of multi-tasking! I call on her intercession quite often.
St. Elizabeth had many struggles and difficulties in her life. She lost her husband at an early age. She buried several of her children. She also lost her money and home. When she decided to become Catholic her family and friends disowned her. St. Elizabeth was left alone, but God had great plans for her.
Biographers say that she suffered with loneliness, grief and melancholy. Several times she was so overwhelmed with these that she thought of suicide. St. Elizabeth felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. There were so many “have tos” being a mom, a religious founder, an educator that the weight of it was almost too much to bear. The saving grace for her was her love of the Eucharist. It was her source of daily strength. She was able to connect with Christ in the Eucharist so she could connect with herself and others as well. The love of Christ in the Eucharist is what encouraged her to move out of overwhelm and live her authentic God-given purpose.
So how can we move from overwhelm to the life God has called us to live?
Remember this….Overwhelm has no purpose except to keep you stuck where you are.
Overwhelm is an indulgent emotion. It keeps you glued to where you are.
It is a spiral emotion. You continuously spin and can't’ see outside for a solution. All you are aware of are the things that are going wrong.
Overwhelm and indecision go hand in hand. You avoid making decisions because you are afraid of making the wrong one. Sometimes there are too many options available so you avoid them all to avoid being wrong.
There are 4 types of thoughts that create overwhelm.. Can you relate to any of these?
1. Black and white thinking: You think you have to finish everything or nothing at all. In black and white thinking a little progress doesn’t count. The job or issue at hand appears so huge that all you can see is how big it is and how you’ll never succeed. Your brain can’t see how you could tackle it in little pieces at a time.
2. Should thinking: Our brain sets us up with crazy expectations. We have thoughts like, I should be able to get it all done. I should be able to balance everything on my schedule.
As I was writing this podcast, I was reminded of the perfume commercial from the late 70’s. You may remember the lyrics...I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man. The commercial was for Enjalee perfume..the 8 hour perfume for the 24 hour woman. The world tells us that we SHOULD be able to do it all with a smile on our face. This expectation has created spirals of overwhelm for everyone.
3. Perfectionist thinking: In perfectionist thinking you are constantly worried about making a mistake so you don’t try. You replay over and over your decisions or choices and aren’t happy with them. This allows unworthiness and self-doubt to creep in so that you don’t trust yourself.
4. People pleasing is next. In this type of overwhelm you are putting everyone else’s needs above yours. You lose sight of your goals and what you are trying to accomplish. You think that your job is only done if EVERYONE is happy. In your attempt to make everyone happy, you are the one who ends up miserable.
So when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Here are 4 ways to break out of the spiral.
1. Ask yourself WHY do I feel overwhelmed? What are the expectations that you’ve placed on yourself? Are they realistic?
2. Take action...you can’t be stuck if you are moving forward.
3. Be willing to be wrong. The only way to move forward is by taking a step… you won’t know until you try.
4. Practice making little decisions over and over again. Each day we are faced with hundreds of decisions. You are already making many decisions. Some are successful and some aren’t. Train your mind to be aware of your decisions. Celebrate your victories and use your failures as stepping stones to learn the direction that you want to move in.
Like St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, life won’t always turn out like we expect, but God is always with us. It is perfectly normal at times to find yourself overwhelmed. Now you know what type of thinking to look for.
Black and White thinking
Should thinking
Perfectionism and
People pleasing
In 2nd Corinthians we read….
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
When you question the overwhelm and ask yourself why do I feel this way….look for one of these to appear. Then you can decide what your next move is. Oftentimes the difference between staying in overwhelm and moving out of the spiral is just one move. Take one step and then the next and then the next...before long you have moved away from overwhelm!
The music for this podcast is brought to you by the vigil project. They make music for the Catholic journey. To learn more about their ministry and to listen to more of their music visit their website at the www.vigilproject.com
